Day 125: The Uncertain Start

I never really go into anything fully prepared. I am literally not ready for my internship to start, but I am further along than I was. Even though it starts tomorrow, I know there is still a lot left to prepare. Lucky for me, I am far enough along to start.

While I write this, I know I still have time to get more done this evening, and I am feeling motivated. It makes me excited, even though I feel like the overwhelm could take me over. I know I must be patient and keep my head in it. I have to keep reminding myself that a lot of the other stuff is just noise, like I have said before. What I am doing is important. I know the up-and-down rollercoaster this all has been is part of the process leading me into the role I am about to take on. Not just with the internship, but with the work I’m building. It is slowly moving, especially with this site and the Behavioral Observatory I have started, but it is in motion. I love the ideas I am having and the projects going around in my head. I am writing them all down and leaving them there, so I do not worry over them right now. Patience. Because tomorrow, I step fully into this internship role…

Quiet Part Day 125: Big beginnings rarely wait for me to feel perfectly ready, but every time I have wanted something deeply enough, I have found a way through the overwhelm. I am learning to trust movement before certainty, because certainty has never been required for me to keep going.

May 5th, 2026

The longer reflection continues into the member’s Inner Archive: Day 125: The Uncertain Start