Day 7: The Knowing
The knowing doesn’t originate from confidence. It comes from being misunderstood long enough to stop explaining. From surviving environments and spaces that demanded dimming in exchange for belonging. There comes a point where seeking confirmation becomes unnecessary. Not because questions disappear, but because something deeper has settled in. A knowing that doesn’t need reinforcement. A certainty that doesn’t demand permission.
For as long as I can remember, my intuition spoke louder than logic. Even when I didn’t trust myself enough yet, something within me kept pulling me and pointing me forward. I felt guided in ways that I couldn’t explain, especially in environments where masks were worn and performance was rewarded. I learned early that being open, joyful, expressive, or deeply intuitive often made people uncomfortable. I was told I was too much. Too loud. Too bright. Too visible. So, I learned how to dim myself just enough to survive rooms that were never built for my spirit. And for a while, I believed it. I learned how to fold myself smaller to keep the peace and help make others comfortable.
I spent most of my life believing that being understood was the goal. I explained myself. I adjusted. I tried to soften the edges that made others uneasy. I thought clarity would come if I could just be seen the right way. What I didn’t realize then was that nothing was wrong with my light. It wasn’t reckless or naive. It was all purposeful. And purpose does not always arrive gently. Sometimes it arrives as friction. As being misunderstood long enough to learn how to stand without applause.
What I learned instead is that clarity comes from staying. From being patient with myself long enough to recognize who I am without agreement. The knowing arrived when I stopped chasing understanding and started living honestly. It didn’t come all at once. It arrived quietly, through lived experience. Through loss and grief. Through betrayal and the slow dismantling of who I thought I had to be. Through moments when I chose truth over approval and paid the price. I stopped mistaking opposition for error. I stopped interpreting resistance as a sign to retreat. I started listening to the internal signal that had been guiding me all along. What changed wasn’t the world. It was my willingness to trust what I already knew. It didn’t make me louder, but steadier. I stopped mistaking misunderstanding for failure, and I learned that not being recognized does not mean you are misaligned. The knowing doesn’t rush or argue. It holds space. It allows softness without surrender. Strength without defense. Presence without performance.
This knowing is not arrogance or superiority. It’s recognizing that I am not meant to contort myself into places that require dimming or silence to be accepted. That my softness and strength are not contradictions. It doesn’t demand agreement or validation. It simply stands. It’s the quiet understanding that I am not here to be consumed or approved. I am here to live in alignment with what I carry. It is earned trust… trust in myself. Trust in the wisdom carried through my lineage. I trust in the fact that I don’t ever need to force what is already aligned. I don’t have all the answers, but because I have survived enough to recognize my own signal, I know when to speak and when to move quietly. I know when to offer openness and when to protect my energy. Something larger than my fear is always at work. Larger than approval. Larger than any one person’s opinion. I move with intention now, not urgency. With clarity, not comparison.
There will always be people who misunderstand me. Who will question my confidence. Who mistake certainty for ego and peace for indifference. I no longer correct them. I let life respond to me now, instead of proving myself into exhaustion. What is meant for me doesn’t require pursuit.
I didn’t arrive here by accident. I arrived by listening, surviving, and refusing to disappear. And by finally trusting that what I carry is meant to be carried forward… not hidden.
Quiet Part Day 7: I move in alignment, not pursuit. What is meant for me recognizes me.
January 7th, 2026
