Day 5: Separate Lenses
People experience us through their own lenses.
Not everyone meets the same version of you, because not everyone brings the same history, self-awareness, or intention to the interaction. One person may find you warm. Another may find you intimidating. One may think you’re quiet. Another may wonder if you ever stop talking. None of these versions cancel each other out. They simply reveal the lens through which you were seen. Different people experience different versions of the same truth. That doesn’t make one version correct and the other false… it makes perception personal.
I used to try to understand and analyze myself more in an effort to smooth out contradictions. I tried to understand which version was “right.” I spent a long time trying to reconcile those differences and yearned to be understood. Explaining myself. Adjusting. Searching for someone to finally see me clearly. I tried to understand how I could be perceived so differently depending on the person. I thought if I explained myself well enough, adjusted enough, softened enough, I could somehow change the outcome. What I didn’t realize at the time was that I wasn’t being misunderstood… I was being interpreted. And interpretation is something very personal. I realized none of their perceptions are wrong, but none of them were the full picture, either. People don’t meet me. They meet me through their own lens. Their comfort level. Their wounds. Their expectations. Their capacity for depth.
What changed wasn’t other people… it was the patience I gave myself. I stayed long enough to understand who I am without needing agreement. And once that clarity settled, the need to be liked or explained disappeared. I know who I am. The people who carry the same integrity will see it without effort. I learned to stop measuring myself against others’ reflections. I stopped adjusting to be digestible. I don’t open myself fully to everyone anymore. I am generous with my honesty where there is curiosity, mutual respect, and safety. Elsewhere, I observe. I protect. I choose. That choice isn’t fear… it’s intention. It’s the difference between performing and being present. That shift changed everything.
My question stopped being “Is this safe?” and became “Is this what I want?” I stopped chasing acceptance and started choosing alignment. Not everyone deserves access to my inner world, and not every opinion deserves my attention. I am open and vulnerable where it matters. I am quiet and reserved more where it doesn’t. That isn’t inconsistency… it is discernment. I no longer seek approval from people who don’t even know themselves. I don’t lower my standards to make others comfortable. I don’t revisit situations or places that require me to disappear. My boundaries aren’t walls… they are filters. They keep what aligns and releases what doesn’t.
I no longer organize my life around being accepted or approved of. I trust myself now. I trust my intuition and ability to discern. The people meant to walk with me don’t need convincing. The rest were never meant to decide. People are allowed to think whatever they want about me. Their perceptions belong to them. Mine belong to me. I refuse to return to where I was disrespected, minimized, or asked to dilute myself for comfort. That isn’t fear or distrust… that is self-respect doing its job.
I don’t need to be understood to be whole.
Quiet Part Day 5: I came back to myself. Clarity answered questions approval never could. The audition is over.
January 5th, 2026
