Day 133: Rerouting the Signal

I went to bed last night feeling the heaviness of the day, but as strange as it sounds, I also felt positive about it. Sometimes enough things happen that I can finally let go. At least for me, that is how it works. Sometimes I have to push myself over the edge and really feel what I am feeling. I know a lot of people might call that dramatic. Self-sabotage. Setting myself up for failure. “Too much”.  But this is how I operate. To get over certain things, I have to push myself past what's possible. I have to know. I have to see. I have to feel the edge of it before I can finally accept what is real, because what if things are not what they seem? What if what appears to be happening is not actually what is happening?

Some people do not know how to express themselves. Some situations are not what they look like at first. I try hard not to take everything at face value, but I also have to be logical. I have to factor in consideration, empathy, self-awareness, selfishness, narcissism, consistency, and the kinds of qualities I actually want around me…

Quiet Part Day 133: Staying the course sometimes means changing where the signal is placed. Growth can look like rerouting the current before it burns out the circuit. The message stays alive because I learned where not to keep sending it. I am not here to be studied by people who refuse to actually see me.

May 13th, 2026

The longer version continues inside The Inner Archive: Day 133: Rerouting the Signal