Day 123: The Chaos Curriculum

I was happy to sleep in and feel like I actually got some rest. I stayed up really late, but I still feel like I slept well, so I will take it. I spent most of the day in the garage, cleaning, repotting plants, doing laundry, and listening to music while popping in and out of live Twitter/X Spaces. Today was interesting in other ways too, but I don’t want to specify what, because feeding negative energy is not something I want to do more than necessary, unless I need to prove a point.

It really is amazing to me how grown people, especially women, can act sometimes. It gives other women a bad rep in these Spaces, and honestly, in the world. When I hear men talk about crazy women, I cannot really say I blame them if they have been around some of the women floating around. I know some of this is scripted to an extent because I am in troll-type Spaces, but some of it is also competition, power hunger, and attention-seeking that I do not want too close to me. I try to keep myself out of the hardcore drama, but when I am brought into things or when it comes down to moral reasons, I will speak up.

This is not the first time I have expressed these feelings since starting this writing. The way people can treat each other, turn on one another, and make everything into a power game is crazy to me. It keeps me on guard almost constantly. It makes it hard for me to get close to people, and it almost makes me want to stay surface-level, which I hate…

Quiet Part Day 123: Ready or not, I am stepping into what is next with more confidence than I had before. The funny thing is, I think all this chaos has been training me more than I realized. It has shown me that I can enter the noise, find what is useful, and leave the rest where it belongs. Maybe this has been preparation all along.

May 3rd, 2026

The extended passage continues just inside The Inner Archive: Day 123: The Chaos Curriculum